i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
