I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
