I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
