Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
