How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
