He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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