didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
