it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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