Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
