if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
