WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
