? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
