You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
