Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wish i was in the wii world.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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