Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
