Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
