That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
