The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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