found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
