So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
