She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
