Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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