we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
