we have pet lesbian snakes
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
