I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
