As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize