My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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