Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I believe in your delicious
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
