you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
