Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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