The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
