Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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