Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
