if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
