id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
