Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
