Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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