Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
