i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i love accidental penises.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
