Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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