sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
