Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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