Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
