you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
