he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
