Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
