life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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