hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
