By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
