i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
