he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
