Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
