alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
