i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
