and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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