When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
