Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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