matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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