Bisexual people are plain selfish.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
