Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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